Tuesday, April 13, 2010


phewwittt...its been a long long time since i write eh i type ok fine updating this blog.as busy as much as lazy and as well as tiring life that i living in now distract my intention to put some story for exactly my own reading and reference in future.hahaha i laugh out loud alone in my room for no reason.

im not in a good mood this nite.i dunno why.i want to blame the PMS because usually i dont even care if my bf didnt msg me early in the morning.unfortunately i do feel like that starting yesterday and it really affect me the whole day until la today.i need the attention more especially for the first three days.if only ever happen u read my blog please do take note.!!!!

arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh..i scream inside my heart.

oh by the way im currently working with astro..hehe..as my previous entry i didnt get the opportunity at the 1st place..but God knows well.if it really meant to be. nothing could ever stop it,,it just a matter of time...

i enjoy the training so much and i hope so does the real job..another two weeks to go. and as i feel stress now i should review my stress management video. i put so much effort on it and tadaaaa i did it!!!! its for my training purpose but i'll keep it as a memorable things and future reference. it touch me personally..hehe teamwork had led to the success of this video making..enjoyy!!!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

tabahlah hati..

Once in a house on a hill
A boy got angry
He broke into my heart

For a day and a night
I stayed beside him
Until I had no hope

So I came down the hill
Of course I was hurt
But then I started to think

It shouldn't hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

There's a bar by the dock
Where I found myself
Drinking with this man
He offered me a cigarette
And I accepted
'Cause it's been a very long time
As it burned 'till the end
I thought of the boy
No one could ever forget

It shouldn't hurt me to be free
It's what I really need
To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself

To pull myself together
But if it's so good being free
Would you mind telling me
Why I don't know what to do with myself ( Emilianna Torini -To Be Free)

-i thank myself for being strong although half of my heart has been paralysed. Luckily i still have my other half part of my heart which i kept for myself.

Monday, December 21, 2009

this is it..!!

after giving so much thought i decide to stay..!! Ya Allah Ya Rahman guide me through all the way and may my decision is the wiser decision i ever made..Dont leave me alone although I realize I always forget about You..please dont stop testing me as I know by that You remember me..I really dont have any idea what my future may look like..but for the mean time i know im the one who create it from the beginning of the journey. I should not let my lower self-eestem and my inner negatives thinking ruin my dream.
Of course this job is totally not my dream job but i know that the most hardest thing I go through will be the best teacher for me. I cannot rely on theory from any books..its just the guideline but I found it very refreshing when u read some motivational books or phrase when I at my lowest. The only things to cure me is Spirit and Laugh. Things that I can never live without..hahahhahaa..(gelak kecil dalam hati) ;D
I give myself six month and see how far I can go..I should believe in myself (who else kan?) and give my 200% to achieve the target..huhu 1st time pernah ade target dalam hidup..sudah tentu lah kan sebab saya tidak lagi di aras zon keselesaan saya..;(.. If someone else can..why can't I ???? and if thing is never meant to be ..hurm..maybe its time for me to go........

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

dah bukan rezeki part I..

today i went for an interview for ASTRO...i really want to leave this not-worth-time-spend job and i really want to pursue for ASTRO as it offer much more better. one of my friend asked me to go on monday tapi entahlah..my procastination has delay me to prepare the thingy yg nk kene bwk nnti until la yesterday my friend ni betul2 basuh yg my current job ni tak berbaloi..seriously it wakes me up n abis shift pkol 1 pagi cepat2 carik cc print ape yang perlu..yg x perlu pun print jgk sbg backup..smpai rumah terus tido save make up tadi boleh terus pkai utk besok pulak..haha..NOT!!
di subuh hari dah celik mata siap2 pegi interview pkai heels ok..kesian kaki..jalan kaki sampai gak menara TA One setelah tawaf KLCC dua kali,tanya abg guard 3 kali and tendang tangga kat menara tu setelah excited sgt terjumpa akan ia..huh..
unfortunately after being abandoned for about an hour..wlupun interview tu suppose to start at 10a.m ok..the manager tu said sorry ASTRO already stop recruiting..terus bermonolog dlm hati*^(%$@#$%(*(..
arghhhhhh...julung2 kalinya terdiam..
cik kenapa mengambil kesempatan di masa kesempitan saya cik..;(

Monday, December 14, 2009

celebrate being myself..

someone told me to change..hurm..although it hurts to realize that someone u loved not accepting u who u are,i tried to see from the bright side..saya susah nk menjadi orang lain kecuali menjadi diri saya so i accept kalau tak semua orang bole terima saya begini keadaannya..
i just want to bring happiness and take things easy when it is not..
we live life like we want it..i apologize to 'u' for my overreacted,overtalking and my nonsenseness...i know i talk too much but thats what i love to do..this blog is actually a dedication from me to you..
i love u..so i try my best to be matured and grow up..;)

Saturday, December 12, 2009

there's a first time for everything.

this is my first time blogging..'sila beri tunjuk ajar'
i have the enthusiasm of want to have my own blog since two years back then..the in between i build up my braveness and courage to share the story of my life to the public and the strangers as well..there are so many things that im afraid of..my language,my grammar,my critiques,my way of seeing things,my point of view,my weaknesses but finally i realize i should allow some imperfection to give me the chance to grow..the biggest room is always the room for improvement..;)